this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize