It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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