I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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