On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize