well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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