Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Randomize
