we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
