he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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