Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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