U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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