he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
In other news, I just burned my penis
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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