: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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