Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
