it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
