I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
