Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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