He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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