this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
