last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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