Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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