I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i dont even know how to be here
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
