I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
