Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
