were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
