the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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