Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
