So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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