my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
