I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
