I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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