I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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