I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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