After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Dignity is for republicans.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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