So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
