Umm I'm too high to move.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Too much gin, very little bucket
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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