Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
