would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize