kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
