If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
