Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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