Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
