How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
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