Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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