You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize