He disabled his match.com account in front of me
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
