They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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