Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
