NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
