I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize