I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
