Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
