If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
