we have officially lost it.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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