how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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