I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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