We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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