just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
