i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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