Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
