Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
