I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize