i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
