am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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