Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize